Superwomen and the "fix him" myth
I don't know what came first, but "Honey I'm good" by the Grammar fellow is cute, it's refreshing. Other songs are jumping on the faithfulness wagon, but they list their reasons in a creepy way. It focuses on "she's supportive and sexy!" which, okay, if my bf wasn't BOTH of those things, he would not be my BF. I'm a lady-dick like that. I guess my disquiet is in the emphasis of their domestic skills and sexiness, and not about what the male counterpart contributes (besides being so swell as to not fuck others behind her back.) Sure, it's one song, it's short, what all can they say? Glitter and glory and sexy aren't strange topics of pop songs. But it just seems like a subtle poison. "I won't stray, cuz you a 10 and do the dirty things for me." wait-what?
Exhibit 1) David Guetta "Hey Mama"
"Yes I do the cleaning, yes I do the cooking" in the same song as
"Yes I"ll be whatever that you tell me when you ready" and
"Yes I'll be whatever that you tell me when you need
Best believe that-when you need that-I'll provide that, you will always have it,
I be on deck, keep it in check, when you need that I'mma let you have it."
Be on deck? doesn't she have BETTER THINGS TO DO than wait around for someone to say 'let's fuck this way'? I mean, accepting an invitation, consensual role play sure, yes those sound fun; but waiting around, never giving your 2 cents about what you'll be/do this time? I dunno, it just rubs me the wrong way. Catchy tune, though. but damn, those lyrics are like a kinky hymn of the 50's.
"Cheerleader" by omi is kind of cute, but gives me a "I'm so super awesome" vibe and does mention
"She walks like a model
She grants my wishes like a genie in a bottle (Yeah yeah)
'Cause I'm the wizard of love
And I got the magic wand"
Way to go, Omi. TMI.
Anyway, I think they play into the argument that a girl needs to look better than her competition, do certain sexual things above and beyond a regular relationship, & be Miss Perfect Housewife to ensure 'he doesn't wander'. Which is a lot of pressure with sketch delivery. I'm of the opinion that being a genuine, functional version of yourself and not just a sex-janitor is the ideal state of living. (Yes, I could stand to slim up a little, but that would make my boobs smaller, so we're at an impasse, pop culture.)
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I'd also recently watched My Best Friend's girl the same week that I read some articles about domestic abuse, and how the myth that people can fix other people's bad behavior makes it difficult for the abused living in these relationships to feel justified in taking care of themselves and getting away.
So here is this story with Tank being "mister asshole" and the girl he falls in love with. Does she "cure" him of asshole-ness? They make hints in the beginning of the movie that he's got a soft side (who doesn't, though? Even my mortal enemy looked nice when they were asleep.) The end has them BOTH acting out one of his unappealing acts of his "worst date ever" service to get 'the other woman' away and re-unite. Here is the more interesting bit, they have a third party, his dad, first project the dad's self-loathing onto him, defining Tank as "a selfish asshole, that's all you'll ever be" or the like. Then, after he uses his powers of evil to drive her away (instead of just saying 'I'm out'? Whatever, it's a comedy.), the dad says 'i've always been afraid of this, you take after your mother.' The mother is never seen, but spoken of as a romantic who had been deluded into thinking she could change, or "fix", if you will, his father: she couldn't. They are divorced.
So it's an interesting case. I still haven't figured it out. Was he supposedly "fixed"? Is the the "closet romantic" one woman spun him as (for giving failing relationships a second chance.) Had he been wearing this selfish, offensive persona to survive socially, get the positive reinforcement of sex, and make extra money? An ex-gang member once said to our school "be very careful what you pretend to be, because you become what you pretend to be." (A valuable warning for anyone who thinks they'll make fun of something by being/doing it 'ironically'.) So just because he has this romantic streak, it doesn't erase his behavior of several years. I think expecting such a show to have any form of over-all redemption towards the women he used would be a bit much. He apologized to the latest date, that's all you get. I think the idea was that he was a good guy wearing bad guy armor with some unrepentant habits, and the girl accepts him for who he is anyway. Sort of a mix. It least it's something to tease at, which I like.
On a side note, the notion that EVERY TIME Tank pisses a girl off, she runs back to the most recent ex seems rather far-fetched. If they broke up for valid reasons, and she has ANY sort of alternative support group, chances are she'll just be pissed at Tank, tell her girlfriend about it, be more jaded about the dating game, and she'd move on.
Also, I'd watched Horns before this, and they made a good point between two boys thinking they could barter the girl. She just shuts that down. "That's not how it works. I left the necklace for YOU. I wanted YOU to give it back to me." No one recognized the fact that the girl doesn't need to settle with EITHER of them. For pete's sake, she is attractive, successful, and it is revealed that besides her own job, she is RICH. They are in NEW YORK CITY, not Anchorage, Alaska.
Whatever. I'm coming to accept that in order to make stories fit in a box of reasonable time and audience investment, things need to be cut and skewed here and there. Romantic Comedies don't warrant the introduction of a 3rd option, because that's one more character that needs time to be introduced and developed. If he's just some guy, the audience would feel cheated. Did Tank's most recent sexual encounter's roommate need to be fleshed out? Apparently, for the growth of the rejected "good guy". I just wasn't impressed with that character, and feel besides setting Tank on his path to meet the girl, his use was over. But I guess their relationship needed to be a conflict, and the roommate of the trist girl was part of his attempt at resolution.
Ugh, whatever. I'm out.
Exhibit 1) David Guetta "Hey Mama"
"Yes I do the cleaning, yes I do the cooking" in the same song as
"Yes I"ll be whatever that you tell me when you ready" and
"Yes I'll be whatever that you tell me when you need
Best believe that-when you need that-I'll provide that, you will always have it,
I be on deck, keep it in check, when you need that I'mma let you have it."
Be on deck? doesn't she have BETTER THINGS TO DO than wait around for someone to say 'let's fuck this way'? I mean, accepting an invitation, consensual role play sure, yes those sound fun; but waiting around, never giving your 2 cents about what you'll be/do this time? I dunno, it just rubs me the wrong way. Catchy tune, though. but damn, those lyrics are like a kinky hymn of the 50's.
"Cheerleader" by omi is kind of cute, but gives me a "I'm so super awesome" vibe and does mention
"She walks like a model
She grants my wishes like a genie in a bottle (Yeah yeah)
'Cause I'm the wizard of love
And I got the magic wand"
Way to go, Omi. TMI.
Anyway, I think they play into the argument that a girl needs to look better than her competition, do certain sexual things above and beyond a regular relationship, & be Miss Perfect Housewife to ensure 'he doesn't wander'. Which is a lot of pressure with sketch delivery. I'm of the opinion that being a genuine, functional version of yourself and not just a sex-janitor is the ideal state of living. (Yes, I could stand to slim up a little, but that would make my boobs smaller, so we're at an impasse, pop culture.)
><><><
I'd also recently watched My Best Friend's girl the same week that I read some articles about domestic abuse, and how the myth that people can fix other people's bad behavior makes it difficult for the abused living in these relationships to feel justified in taking care of themselves and getting away.
So here is this story with Tank being "mister asshole" and the girl he falls in love with. Does she "cure" him of asshole-ness? They make hints in the beginning of the movie that he's got a soft side (who doesn't, though? Even my mortal enemy looked nice when they were asleep.) The end has them BOTH acting out one of his unappealing acts of his "worst date ever" service to get 'the other woman' away and re-unite. Here is the more interesting bit, they have a third party, his dad, first project the dad's self-loathing onto him, defining Tank as "a selfish asshole, that's all you'll ever be" or the like. Then, after he uses his powers of evil to drive her away (instead of just saying 'I'm out'? Whatever, it's a comedy.), the dad says 'i've always been afraid of this, you take after your mother.' The mother is never seen, but spoken of as a romantic who had been deluded into thinking she could change, or "fix", if you will, his father: she couldn't. They are divorced.
So it's an interesting case. I still haven't figured it out. Was he supposedly "fixed"? Is the the "closet romantic" one woman spun him as (for giving failing relationships a second chance.) Had he been wearing this selfish, offensive persona to survive socially, get the positive reinforcement of sex, and make extra money? An ex-gang member once said to our school "be very careful what you pretend to be, because you become what you pretend to be." (A valuable warning for anyone who thinks they'll make fun of something by being/doing it 'ironically'.) So just because he has this romantic streak, it doesn't erase his behavior of several years. I think expecting such a show to have any form of over-all redemption towards the women he used would be a bit much. He apologized to the latest date, that's all you get. I think the idea was that he was a good guy wearing bad guy armor with some unrepentant habits, and the girl accepts him for who he is anyway. Sort of a mix. It least it's something to tease at, which I like.
On a side note, the notion that EVERY TIME Tank pisses a girl off, she runs back to the most recent ex seems rather far-fetched. If they broke up for valid reasons, and she has ANY sort of alternative support group, chances are she'll just be pissed at Tank, tell her girlfriend about it, be more jaded about the dating game, and she'd move on.
Also, I'd watched Horns before this, and they made a good point between two boys thinking they could barter the girl. She just shuts that down. "That's not how it works. I left the necklace for YOU. I wanted YOU to give it back to me." No one recognized the fact that the girl doesn't need to settle with EITHER of them. For pete's sake, she is attractive, successful, and it is revealed that besides her own job, she is RICH. They are in NEW YORK CITY, not Anchorage, Alaska.
Whatever. I'm coming to accept that in order to make stories fit in a box of reasonable time and audience investment, things need to be cut and skewed here and there. Romantic Comedies don't warrant the introduction of a 3rd option, because that's one more character that needs time to be introduced and developed. If he's just some guy, the audience would feel cheated. Did Tank's most recent sexual encounter's roommate need to be fleshed out? Apparently, for the growth of the rejected "good guy". I just wasn't impressed with that character, and feel besides setting Tank on his path to meet the girl, his use was over. But I guess their relationship needed to be a conflict, and the roommate of the trist girl was part of his attempt at resolution.
Ugh, whatever. I'm out.
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| Here is a cool picture I took over the weekend. Needs color editing. I have no Photoshop. |
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