Mental Fatigue and Me
So I crapped out these last two semesters.
My internship was awesome when I was with the manual laborers, but I generally HATED my direct supervisor and crushing sense of pointlessness/uselessness/helplessness my actual "projects" imparted me. Meetings for days. Meetings I really had nothing to contribute to. Might have been an issue of an electric engineer having no flipping clue what to do with mechanical engineers, as his electrical engineering intern had real work. (My desk partner was also wildly unimpressed with our work and supervisors. It wasn't just me.)
I have issues with a stubborn subconscious, or something. Try as I might to rationalize that it was one experience, and if I kill myself doing this homework, I still have shot at a rewarding career just didn't translate to the motivator that runs on feels. Feels learned that you can accomplish pretty much nothing and make wicked stacks of cash. *facepalm* So I was struggling against that,among other strains of life-suspension resentment. I should have gotten a cat! The dog is awesome, but a horrible time/attention consumer. I don't know how people do school with kids. Also probably should not have moved across town.
ANYWAY, I have squeaked out with, 4 years later, an official Associates of Science. Woo! *pathetic coughing fit* And I DO have some office experience on the ol' resume. Definitely in better standing than I was in 2008.
I'll be attending a technical school for Automated Manufacturing. Full time (attending 30 hours a week) it takes a year to complete. I'll know how to actually program and fix assembly line machines. Sounds so rad, you don't even know. I'll be working part time, so taking classes part time, call it two years. :*( whhyyyyyy...
Then I'll have one Associates and, if not an second Associates, some serious Certification, which in our skill-starved economy will be just as (if not more) valuable in the right cities.
This should allow me to make enough monies to live, and go back and finish up my last two years of engineering. I'm thinking a different college, as I've burned my bridge for Mechanical Engineering at USU by getting two F's. North Dakota State does an online ME program, or I'll go somewhere with Systems Engineering. The Associates should translate nicely, and I realistically expect to struggle with having forgotten math and science concepts at that point in time. Whatever! I need a flipping break, and to go after what I'll actually enjoy day in day out. The BS (bachelor of science, not BS haha) is just to go from fair moneys to sick moneys. I can live with risking that.
Romantic life is going very well. Jaren has a handle on his job so is much happier. I'm not crushed by stress and guilt about Junior classes, so so am I! I think we're getting the hang of this living together thing.
My dog is cute but NO competitor. Found out he has cataracts, so might go blind in a few years. :C Been soul searching about whether I want to return him as my trainer suggests (and get a dog with drive) or, you know, just chop his nuts and get a second? I don't know how realistic that option is. But I really enjoy training, I just need to get more consistent and if I want to compete... not my lazy bones teddy-dog. ^^ I am leaning towards keeping him. There's the love connection.
I have two jobs, but will drop papa's (or severely cut days scheduled) once I start the Bridgerland, because I need 3 hours to go hike with the dog and decompress doing my things, and it's only minimum wage at ~13 hours a week. Conservice has me typing bills into computer systems, and is ~25 hours at better pay. so BAM!
Anyway, off to have a nice day. ttyl.
My internship was awesome when I was with the manual laborers, but I generally HATED my direct supervisor and crushing sense of pointlessness/uselessness/helplessness my actual "projects" imparted me. Meetings for days. Meetings I really had nothing to contribute to. Might have been an issue of an electric engineer having no flipping clue what to do with mechanical engineers, as his electrical engineering intern had real work. (My desk partner was also wildly unimpressed with our work and supervisors. It wasn't just me.)
I have issues with a stubborn subconscious, or something. Try as I might to rationalize that it was one experience, and if I kill myself doing this homework, I still have shot at a rewarding career just didn't translate to the motivator that runs on feels. Feels learned that you can accomplish pretty much nothing and make wicked stacks of cash. *facepalm* So I was struggling against that,among other strains of life-suspension resentment. I should have gotten a cat! The dog is awesome, but a horrible time/attention consumer. I don't know how people do school with kids. Also probably should not have moved across town.
ANYWAY, I have squeaked out with, 4 years later, an official Associates of Science. Woo! *pathetic coughing fit* And I DO have some office experience on the ol' resume. Definitely in better standing than I was in 2008.
I'll be attending a technical school for Automated Manufacturing. Full time (attending 30 hours a week) it takes a year to complete. I'll know how to actually program and fix assembly line machines. Sounds so rad, you don't even know. I'll be working part time, so taking classes part time, call it two years. :*( whhyyyyyy...
Then I'll have one Associates and, if not an second Associates, some serious Certification, which in our skill-starved economy will be just as (if not more) valuable in the right cities.
This should allow me to make enough monies to live, and go back and finish up my last two years of engineering. I'm thinking a different college, as I've burned my bridge for Mechanical Engineering at USU by getting two F's. North Dakota State does an online ME program, or I'll go somewhere with Systems Engineering. The Associates should translate nicely, and I realistically expect to struggle with having forgotten math and science concepts at that point in time. Whatever! I need a flipping break, and to go after what I'll actually enjoy day in day out. The BS (bachelor of science, not BS haha) is just to go from fair moneys to sick moneys. I can live with risking that.
Romantic life is going very well. Jaren has a handle on his job so is much happier. I'm not crushed by stress and guilt about Junior classes, so so am I! I think we're getting the hang of this living together thing.
My dog is cute but NO competitor. Found out he has cataracts, so might go blind in a few years. :C Been soul searching about whether I want to return him as my trainer suggests (and get a dog with drive) or, you know, just chop his nuts and get a second? I don't know how realistic that option is. But I really enjoy training, I just need to get more consistent and if I want to compete... not my lazy bones teddy-dog. ^^ I am leaning towards keeping him. There's the love connection.
I have two jobs, but will drop papa's (or severely cut days scheduled) once I start the Bridgerland, because I need 3 hours to go hike with the dog and decompress doing my things, and it's only minimum wage at ~13 hours a week. Conservice has me typing bills into computer systems, and is ~25 hours at better pay. so BAM!
Anyway, off to have a nice day. ttyl.
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