Bloggy Stuff

I drew this to respond to a Facebook friend's posts.  For the most part it's delightfully out of context without the reference.  #drama #authormining. I originally planned to have two kids, girl and boy, but decided last second to stick with two females, don't hold me accountable for the apparent age difference, it's from a lack in drawing skill, not an intentional representation. Walking the dog this morning, I was impressed at the appropriateness of Nothing More's album for this situation.  "Christ copyright" "I'll be okay"  "friendly fire", others.  Rock on.

It took me a week of broken sessions, but I finished the 25 expression challenge for my heroin!  I'm all like: crap, that's not a good ink to time ratio (inklocity?)  But it was hard and I'm proud of taking a stab at every expression for one face type.  A couple are quite good, imo, but most go between inaccurate expression, or inaccurate proportions.  I'm gonna scan it eventually and twiddle with the mediocre ones.   Cuz layers. But first, the anti-hero.  Then the question, should I do all 25 for the villains?  Which ones?  Throw a dart for secondary characters?  How often to cry and rock back and forth in a corner? Ps, I found an anime that happens to have the same character design for its heroin as mine (only drawn vastly better.)  Now I need to add a tattoo or feathers to her hair!  It's not very unique, this was more likely than not.  Still makes me wonder if it was two people doing the same thing separately, or if...

My fish died a terrible death.  His body was decaying around him.  I tried to fix it with meds, nothing worked.  He didn't want to die.  He was the fighter-ness fish I ever saw.  No giving up.  Even with a huge lesion on his side, blinded eyes, rotting fins, and failing organs, he was swimming almost like normal, responding to my presence near the quarantine tank.  Slim's two day health plunge was the most fucked up thing I've seen all year.  It hit me hard in the feels.  I feel responsible, because his little life was my responsibility when I bought him.  I put him in a nice big tank to explore--where he tore his fins.  I left him in that nice big tank (a bit remodeled), thinking they were healing beautifully.  And bam.  Ugh, it sucks.  At least I learned some things.  Like how the melafix I was treating him with is for gram positive bacteria, and could not touch the gram negative bacteria destroying his body....

FUCK!!!!  This is hard!!! Yes, she said it, as I am a 'she'. Goddamn!  I am frustrated to hell with this world building/secondary character design/story fleshing.  I envy Jill with her eureka moment, having everything hit her at once.  Perhaps that would be my undoing.  I would barf with nerves at the scope of it all and run away. It's great, having my little meditations every day.  It's a ride to ask a question, hear an answer, and even draw the responder or subject without my usual level of prefectionist anxiety.  It is just sooo damn pieced out and... and TEASING!  Auugggghgh! X(  I'm so passionate about this that I want to share it with people, especially my supporters!  but I don't have a complete body to even pen the first chapter with.  (I actually wrote a first chapter, but, you see, certain elements are lacking.  Rushing now would cause massive holes in world mechanics, if not a story dead end.) I want to post my ...

I don't know what came first, but "Honey I'm good" by the Grammar fellow is cute, it's refreshing.  Other songs are jumping on the faithfulness wagon, but they list their reasons in a creepy way.  It focuses on "she's supportive and sexy!"  which, okay, if my bf wasn't BOTH of those things, he would not be my BF.  I'm a lady-dick like that.  I guess my disquiet is in the emphasis of their domestic skills and sexiness, and not about what the male counterpart contributes (besides being so swell as to not fuck others behind her back.)  Sure, it's one song, it's short, what all can they say?  Glitter and glory and sexy aren't strange topics of pop songs.    But it just seems like a subtle poison.  "I won't stray, cuz you a 10 and do the dirty things for me."  wait-what? Exhibit 1) David Guetta "Hey Mama" "Yes I do the cleaning, yes I do the cooking" in the same song as "Yes I"ll be what...

Night mode isn't too shabby for clouds!  I guess I never tried it before.  Boy, what a waste.

So I crapped out these last two semesters. My internship was awesome when I was with the manual laborers, but I generally HATED my direct supervisor and crushing sense of pointlessness/uselessness/helplessness my actual "projects" imparted me.  Meetings for days.  Meetings I really had nothing to contribute to.  Might have been an issue of an electric engineer having no flipping clue what to do with mechanical engineers, as his electrical engineering intern had real work.  (My desk partner was also wildly unimpressed with our work and supervisors.  It wasn't just me.) I have issues with a stubborn subconscious, or something.  Try as I might to rationalize that it was one experience, and if I kill myself doing this homework, I still have shot at a rewarding career just didn't translate to the motivator that runs on feels.  Feels learned that you can accomplish pretty much nothing and make wicked stacks of cash.  *facepalm*  So I was stru...